Desire Meet ResistanceNov 08, 2023
Maybe you've heard the saying, "what you want wants you too?"
Or maybe, "because you want it, you know it's for you."
When I started a business I naively thought because I was answering a calling it would all immediately work out, as long as I did by part by working really hard.
Except...working towards my desires brought up an enormous amount of resistance. Which is so weird.
Why would I resist what I want?
Today I went swimming for the first time since...I don't know. Maybe even this year.
I LOVE swimming. I'm a Scorpio, I love water, I love exercise, and swimming is one of my favorite types of exercise.
I have built up a bunch of resistance to it because I hate being cold and public pools are sooooo cold for my body. I'm always cold, so adding more cold is more uncomfortable than the love I have of swimming.
So I haven't been swimming.
I created resistance towards something I love.
Every time I thought about swimming I remembered the time(s) I was in the pool for 20-30 minutes and just never warmed up. I remember how excruciating it felt to get in the water. I remember longing for the hot tub.
This thinking talked me out of it every single time.
Today I acknowledged, "It will be cold. But it will be worth it."
I forgot to mention, I had other incentives. Lifting weights on the weekend I tweaked my lower back so I knew swimming would really help me feel better, and it's a way to get some movement without re-injuring myself.
So I went.
And you know what? It wasn't that cold. The sun was shining on the water through the windows and it felt almost warm. It felt so good to be in the water again.
Sure, what you want wants you too, but sometimes our human mind has stored experiences that simply outweigh the good. Or so we think.
What we can remember is our thoughts are fluid, not absolute.
When it comes to my business, I desire to follow my calling.
This pursuit over the years has brought up enormous resistance.
Resistance to being seen / heard, to making mistakes (publicly), fear of not helping or unintentionally causing harm, fear of creating something inauthentic or out of integrity... just like being too cold to swim, it all outweighed the desire.
The risk became too great ... instead of quitting I went straight towards the resistance. Not by ignoring it and doing the thing anyway, but by acknowledging, listening, and learning from it.
Here's the good news: resistance is surmountable and usually comes with the added bonus of healing something you experienced (this life or past lives), or you inherited (generational or ancestral). When you lean into this you not only heal for you and your lineage but you also get closer or live into your desires.
Resistance and triggers have purpose - big purpose.
Maybe the bigger the resistance, the bigger the purpose. I can't vouch for that, but it's a hunch and it feels true.
If what you want feels too hard it that's not a sign you shouldn't do it. It's not a sign that it won't ever work out. It's a sign that something is getting your attention. If it didn't get in the way of what you really wanted, would you have noticed otherwise?
Resistance can feel like a brick wall, but remember, you can go around, climb over, or blow it up (*this is not true of systemic issues, which are very real and not something to "just get over" or change your thinking*).
Acknowledging what your resistance is, is a great start.
"It will be cold. But it will be worth it."
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Making Space with Jen Pillipow
Themes: authenticity, goals, entrepreneurship, spirituality, self-awareness, empowerment, personal development and growth.
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