Worthiness is inherent...but it sure doesn't feel that way!Oct 08, 2021
Maybe you relate to this story...
My worthiness is very much connected to my work and money - something I've been working at untangling.
Being a people pleasing perfectionist at work meant overdelivering and over giving to the point of exhaustion and burn-out.
A hundred years ago I worked as a broker's assistant for a large financial institution.
Another broker's assistant I worked with clearly did not have the same associations with work and money as I did.
One day I came around the corner to her cubicle and I saw her stuffing random papers into the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet - filled already with rando papers in no particular order.
"What's that?" I asked her.
"Oh - that's just where I put stuff I don't wanna do."
You can DO that????!!!
I think about this at least twice a week.
Meanwhile, my broker was coming to me with trades to do at 12:55.
Markets closed at 1:00 in BC.
So - 5 minutes to do a handful of trades without making a mistake ("isn't that like a fun video game?" he asked. No. No, it is not. Is it fun to pay when I make a mistake?!)
I usually made a mistake.
Sometimes they cost thousands, sometimes not.
It was excruciating for my people pleasing perfectionist way of being.
If I made a mistake, people would realize the truth -
I'm not as good as they thought.
Because I believed whatever good impression they had of me was a fluke and it was only a matter of time...
Our worthiness is not attached to anything, and it's not contingent on anything.
We're worthy simply because we exist.
All the "negative" shadowy parts of you are part of what makes you worthy.
This is hard to grasp for most of us (especially us perfectionists).
If you have a moment today, think about what that could mean for you.
How could the parts you hide actually be what makes you worthy? Really give that some thought today.
If you won't tell yourself, I'll tell you:
You're good enough - exactly as you are, in this exact moment.
Craving more authenticity?
Interested in applying for Making Space (the course)? Apply Here.
Jen Pillipow, Rapid Transformational Therapist, Cl.Hyp
P.S. I can't teach you how to be authentic, but I can help you bring awareness to the obstacles blocking your own authenticity so you can bring your authentic self to your work, life, and relationships.
Follow me on Instagram @jenpillipow
This blog post was written and created on traditional lands referred to as Treaty 6 Territory encompassing the traditional territories of numerous First Nations, including the Cree and Métis homeland. If you're not sure whose land you're on, I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca.
Interested in learning more about the subconscious layers protecting your authenticity? Check out my free private podcast.
Sign up for the Making Space free newsletter to get insights and musings about authenticity.
No one likes SPAM. I'll never sell your information, for any reason.