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When we were young and our subconscious minds were forming, we were seeking attachment to our parents, caregivers and adults around us for our safety and survival. We needed to fit in to the family dynamic.
If we were told we're "too much", or not to cry/whine, or we're "too loud", or in some way "not enough", our subconscious minds adapted us by adding personality layers over our authentic selves in order to maintain attachment, to fit in, and survive in our environment.
As adults we can often cognitively recognize these personality layers and patterns, but before we can integrate that knowledge we need to learn from them, and heal from them. Otherwise, being authentic won't feel safe and we'll continue to fall back on the patterns and behavior we're trying to change.
“People have 2 needs: attachment and authenticity.
When authenticity threatens attachment, attachment trumps authenticity.”
If at some point being authentic threatened your survival, we can't start with trying to be "authentic". First, we have to understand what is inauthentic, why we created it, and slowly find safety without it.
When I say we adapted for our safety and survival, I know this sounds dire.
It sounds like growing up in an abusive household.
Sometimes that's the case.
Other times, it's because our caregiveres were emotionally unavailable, or inconsistent, or teased us, or isolated us when we expressed emotions.
Either way, not feeling like it's enough, or safe to be just the way you are, a common workaround is creating personality layers to adapt to the environment to "fit" in and ensure safety.
Therefore subconsciously sabotaging all efforts to be "authentic" because it feels uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst.
I used to think you are/aren't authentic.
Because it had to be all-or-nothing.
I've realized - it just ain't that simple.
It's more like a dial -
and I want to be really conscious and deliberate
about operating that dial.
Sometimes I need to be inauthentic. But, it's a conscious choice, I'm in control, and I'm aware.
It wasn't always like this.
I call the decade of my 30's the decade where I "went to sleep".
I overworked, over-exercised, overate, but mostly, boy did I overwork. I hustled for a paycheck, for worthiness, to do "what I'm supposed to do" to be happy.
I was exhausted all the time. Sick all the time. Constantly burnt-out. Everything in my life felt like chores and things I "had" to do, but none of it brought me any joy.
What's the point of that?
It was such a dichotomy.
On the outside I was thriving in my work, receiving raises and promotions, I was training and participating in triathlons, I had good relationships, I was completing a masters degree.
It "looked" like I was authentic, living my life, and doing the things that bring joy and health.
Too many days I said to my now-husband, "I can't keep doing this."
Too many weekends I just lay in bed staring at the ceiling, too exhausted to move.
But it felt so overwhelming to untangle.
Where did I even start?
I dove into personal development and growth.
I took more courses than I can count, read hundreds of books, worked with coaches, lightworkers, nervous system healers, therapists, and invested in my own knowledge and training.
I reconnected back to me and it started to click.
Fast forward to now...
My life looks very different.
I can't remember the last time I got sick.
I weather stressful circumstances remarkably well.
I'm present with my clients, my kiddo, my husband.
I create and hold healthy boundaries (! I can hardly believe it).
I people please wayyyy less.
I worry less about perfectionism (!) (Yes, it's possible!).
I have more self-compassion.
My self-care rituals are through the roof.
I stopped needing coffee everyday, I have my own life force and vitality.
I sleep better.
I'm more creative, my life has flow.
I force less. Hustle less.
I enjoy my life.
And if I strip back the 1 thing that created this opening for me, it's self-awareness.
That's the foundation.
And we all have this amazing tool, and so few of us use it to our full potential.
Which is why I created Foundations of Authenticity.
There's only 1 one of you. No one can share your gifts, talents, and skills like you.
And if you don't (because of the layers of protective personality layers) - we all lose. Not just you.
If you're too busy people pleasing, dancing for worthiness and acceptance, you'll be too exhausted to create, to be in flow, to be YOU.
And the world needs YOU.
You are a one-of-a-kind.
I'm interested in you living your unique-ness. That's why I created this program, to get you started.
A foundational program designed to reconnect you to your self, become more present, and reduce anxiety.
All preparing you to dismantle barriers to your authenticity: things like perfectionism, people pleasing, negative self-talk, procrastination, and more.
Learn to deliberately use your personal self-awareness style and strengths by utilizing the conscious and subconscious mind.
Flip the script: instead of fulfilling automatic, learned behavior; operate consciously and deliberately with alignment to your true authentic nature.
Reduce anxious thoughts like worrying about the future, or the past.
Create more self-compassion with the realization that no parts of you are "bad", that the parts you create are trying to keep you safe.
Feel more energized, sleep better.
Work with the part of you in safe guided hypnosis that holds you back from authenticity - the part trying to keep you "safe".
21 days listening and solidifying your new neural pathway.
Here are a few reasons why:
-From the ages of 0-12 we are observing the world through the lens of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind takes everything literally, doesn't have a sense of humor, and becomes 90-95% of our operating system for our adult life.
-The way we interpret events as a 0-12 year old is very different than how we would interpret those same events as an adult. We have a narrow view of the world, are dependent on the adults around us, and have little in our control. This interpretation is what creates our belief system, our habits, our go-to operating system for daily life.
The thoughts, beliefs, and habits that were created need an upgrade in order for me to live my truest most authentic life.
Conscious learning and mindset shifting on the topic through audio, like a podcast episode.
Hypnosis to understand where and why these associations were created.
The transformational recording is the final step of the workshop, after the conscious and subconscious learning. It's a short (usually 10-20 minute), uplifting, positive NLP reinforcing recording that you listen to for 21 days to solidify your new neural pathway.
The transformational recording is the final step of the workshop, after the conscious and subconscious learning. It's a short (usually 10-20 minute), uplifting, positive NLP reinforcing recording that you listen to for 21 days to solidify the new neural pathway.
Many clients love these so much, they continue to listen to them for months after. Some of them use it as a pep talk to feel better, others use it as a way to fall asleep when they can't sleep. This recording is available for download with the purchase of a workshop so you have it for life.
Lessons come with powerful journal prompts and worksheets to help you integrate and deepen your learning and lessons.
I personally respond to all questions in relation to the workshop content and experience.
No problem, that is not a pre-requisite! Within every workshop I include an Introduction to Hypnotherapy, my approach, and how to best take care of yourself. Rest assured, we are all able to be hypnotized. It is simply a slower brainwave that is very natural and safe for us all to access. Think of the times when you were just falling asleep, just waking, meditating, or in flow - you are dipping down into alpha or theta brainwaves, the brainwaves required to allow your conscious mind to rest so you can access your subconscious mind.
You have the content as long as the course site is live. You can re-do the guided meditation as many times as you like, and I would suggest doing it alongside major life transitions.
You're a personal development junkie.
You read all the books, do all the things, but you often get stuck and don't make any real or lasting changes.
You feel burnt-out and stressed out most of the time.
You're tired of people pleasing, tired of everyone else coming first.
You're exhausted from trying to look "perfect".
You know self-care isn't selfish, but it sure feels that way.
You feel disconnected from your body, your life.
You think "there has to be more to it than this".
You feel stuck.
It feels like life is happening "to you" not "for you".
You're negative, and you know deep down that's not you.
You feel powerless, like a victim. Everything feels out of your control, yet you're desperately trying to control it.
I don't want to convince you self-awareness is the foundation, or that hypnotherapy works.
This workshop won't "do the work for you".
It teaches you a skill to practice so you can get the results you want and lead the life you choose.
You can keep going it alone and...
-keep struggling with exhaustion and burn-out
-keep being pulled in all directions, instead of choosing your own
-keep looking for other band-aids that help
Or, you can take action now and...
-start to reconnect to yourself and trust yourself again
-feel re-energized, re-connected to yourself and life
-improve your work and your relationships
-build the foundation that you'll need to live an authentic, deliberate, and conscious life
There's only one of you, and we need you.
We need all the voices in the choir to harmonize.
I humbly acknowledge the land and water that sustains us, where I work, play, create, and live is on traditional lands, referred to as Treaty 6 Territory encompassing the traditional territories of numerous First Nations, including the Cree and Métis homeland.
As a white, heterosexual woman, I am committed to educating myself and investing in education about racial, systemic, discriminatory and social justice issues.
© 2021 JEN PILLIPOW All Rights Reserved